


Is It Really Kidnapping If It's Your Friend?

by The_Mouse_of_Anon



Series: Emergency Fics [8]
Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: Colin's pretty sure without him Damian wouldn't have any friends, Damian has no grasp of what normal 12-year-olds are like, Damian trying to 'force adopt' Colin, Damian wants Colin to move in, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 00:59:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12158349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Mouse_of_Anon/pseuds/The_Mouse_of_Anon
Summary: Robin and Abuse were taking a short break during patrol and got to talking. The thing is that Damian was none too thrilled about Colin living in an orphanage, and so he came up with a solution... which might have convinced Colin that Damian has no concept of what normal 12-year-olds are like.





	Is It Really Kidnapping If It's Your Friend?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the 8th of my emergency fics (yeah, I've got a lot). The request for this one was for a fic about Damian or Colin-- so I figured, why not both?

“It doesn’t make sense,” Damian huffed. The two of them were temporarily taking a break in an unoccupied warehouse during their patrol. They’d been out with Bruce and Dick, but they had temporarily split off (Bruce had made Damian swear to keep his communicator on and made Colin promise, without any difficulty, to make sure that Damian kept it on).

Colin sat on a giant crate and casually kicked his feet, his heels occasionally drumming against the wood of the crate. Damian stood on the ground below, leaning against the crate with his arms crossed irritably and occasionally glancing up at Colin. “Dunno what’s hard to understand about it. I’m an orphan, people don’t like my anger problems, so I stay in an orphanage. Lots of foster care people don’t like me.” Despite his words Colin was actually fairly relaxed; it was a simple statement of fact and nothing more.

Damian scowled. “It’s inadequate.”

Colin shrugged. “Sorry one of my parents wasn’t Batman?”

A snort; though whether it was directed at the thought that Colin couldn’t have possibly controlled who his parents had been, or the idea that one of his parents might have been like Bruce was impossible to determine. “You’re not unpleasant. You should have a home instead of being warehoused.”

“But then I’d have to deal with someone noticing me sneaking out.”

“If they complain then that’s their problem. You should be allowed to do what you want.”

Colin snickered, though he tried (unsuccessfully) to repress it. “Damian, sometimes I really don’t think you get the whole ‘family boundaries’ thing. Most adults would look at what we do on a regular basis and scream about ‘child endangerment’.”

Damian scoffed, pushing away from the crate so that he could more easily look up at his friend. “And the fact that you know that term is proof enough that you are far more educated than the ignorant child they would assume, and that you should be treated accordingly.”

Ohhhh Colin was having a really hard time not laughing. “Damian… We’re _twelve_.”

“And?”

Colin was cracking. “I know we’re not normal, but most people would treat us– well me, because I’m the one in the orphanage and you live with your dad-”

“-Father.”

“-whatever– like they would any other twelve-year-old. Most twelve-year-olds don’t beat up badguys in the middle of the night.”

“Most other twelve-year-olds are not Abuse,” Damian retorted.

Colin broke down cackling. His friend just had NO concept of normal relationships in regards to age, and though he knew it shouldn’t be funny, to his way of thinking it was just downright _hilarious_. “Damian… Most people aren’t superheroes. Most parents don’t raise kids who are superheroes. Being a superhero is dangerous and most parents don’t want their kids– or foster kids– to be in danger. I’m pretty sure the only reason your dad-”

“-Father.”

“- _whatever!_ I’m pretty sure the only reason he lets you do it is because he knows that if he refused to let you go out with him or your brothers and sister-”

“They are not my family Wilkes.”

Colin aimed an unamused look at Damian. “Will you let me finish? _Please_? Before I start thinking about throwing things at you?” Damian gave a wave, encouraging him to continue. “ _Thank you._ As I was saying, if he refused to let you go out then he knows you’d go out anyway and get in more trouble.”

Damian snorted. For a moment he considered ignoring the comment, but then he said, “You don’t know what you’re talking about Wilkes.”

“Sure I don’t,” Colin said while rolling his eyes.

“…Very well then. I’ll tell my father you’re moving in,” Damian announced with a nod before turning on his heel and starting to walk off.

“ _Damian!_ You don’t get to decide that! Damia-” Colin pushed off the side of the crate to jump down and started after him. “Damn it Damian! You are _impossible!_ ”

“It is for your own good.”

“Just for that I’m telling your brothers and sister that you’re force-adopting me!”

“They are not my siblings! And I’m not adopting you.”

“ _I’ve seen all of them take you out to lunch at least ten times individually! Including Tim!_ They’re your siblings. Get over it.“

“I’m still not adopting you.” Damian clearly was choosing to ignore Colin’s point in the hopes that he’d drop it– something Colin counted as a small victory.

“Well what else would you call it when you’re forcefully moving someone in with you and your family would have to be responsible for them?!”

Damian glanced at Colin, arched an eyebrow, and said in a complete deadpan, “Relocation for your welfare. And it wouldn’t be by force. You’ve stayed the night before and said you liked the mansion.”

Colin stared at Damian for a moment or two as they walked before narrowing his eyes. “You are super-weird, and that’s saying something coming from me. I’m the kid who threw a bucket of paint at a moving car because I got so mad, and even by my standards you’re weird.”

“I’m perfectly rational.”

“…Nooooo, you’re pretty freakin’ weird. I’m glad I’m your friend, because I don’t think most other people can handle you. Besides, pretty sure you trying to force-adopt me might be considered kidnapping.”

“Shut up Wilkes.”

“Shut your face.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“And neither do you.”


End file.
